Dead Snow

    This is another one of the movies that I watched before I started this blog that was a must for me to re-watch and review. This is one of those films that only comes around once or twice in a decade, enjoying the same kinds of success comically and creatively as past films like Evil Dead, and Dead Alive. 

    Norway over the past few years has show themselves to be a formidable force in horror cinema giving new life to the tired slasher genre with Cold Prey and doing a bang up job on the zombie front with this gem. I can't wait to see what else this growing pocket of goodness provides us.

    Dealing more in the zombie curse front that your more traditional flesh hungry ghouls gives this film a little room to be creative in their scenarios. Nazi zombies after their cursed gold, prove to be formidable foes, being as they do not need to adhere to some of the "rules" other fiends do, using tools/weapons and reasoning (to a point) make for harsh conditions for our crew of highly entertaining and charismatic victims. That issue along with the fact the film is set in the snowy mountainous regions of Norway make for some slow running, uber-violent and hilarious hi-jinx.

    Speaking of violence, there is anything but a shortage of it in this gorefest, and it is all top quality stuff. Kilometers of intestines, liter upon liter of blood, dismemberment and general carnage get so plentiful at times the camera gets obstructed with the fallout. Some of the scenes seem to be custom tailored just for gore fans, with two of the main characters armed to the teeth for maximum fascist devastation in a Braveheart-esque standoff with thirty plus nazi undead. 
 
    In short, watch this movie, I can't imagine anyone with even the slightest interest in horror films specifically zombie films, who wouldn't get a kick out of it.


9.5/10 detached retinas

S&Man

     I feel like I've joined some sort of elite club of hyper-underground horror fans by having watched this "documentary". I put documentary in quotes because of the fact that, while it is a documentary, there is an element of fiction thrown in that turns this film into one of the most morbidly fascinating pieces of work I've ever watched.

     The point of this film is to take an in depth look at the works of such super underground sadist filmmakers as Bill Zebub and Fred Vogel of "Toetag Productions", while attempting to find the attraction to movies such as theirs. Interviews with them and their "Scream Queens" (Debbie D.) along with several mental health professionals, search what makes them and their audience tick, and why they think we as a society have the attraction to death and morbidity that we do.

     Now the fiction element comes from the movies interaction with the creator of a series of films called the "S&Man episodes" (Eric), with which the documentaries creator becomes rightfully suspicious of. The awkward creepiness that this character exudes is that of legendary proportions, and his series of films are just as creepy. Leading to an ending that I can only explain as "unparalleled".

     There's plenty of on screen violence, nastiness and plenty of breasts and the sort in this movie, but the better part of it is in clip form harvested from some of the earlier mentioned directors back catalogue for documentary purposes. But the real winning element of the visuals is the amount of simplistic and realistic violence in the S&Man series. The a total lack of glorification of the violence within that series gives it a greasy feeling of dread and sickness that makes the "episodes" feel all the more like "snuff" films and not like movies. Disturbing to say the least.

     Educational, and mind warping......not often you get a two-fer like that, their marriage in this movie is done in a genius way that I haven't  seen to date. I really think any and everyone is doing them self a grave disservice by not watching this movie.


9.5/10 detached retinas

Recycled Parts

    72 minutes of goofy, B-rate, pseudo psychotic, torture horror is a good way to spend part of your work day, if you're askin' me. Even though this movie was far from anything resembling "good" by traditional standards, it still had enough of the right elements to entertain a cheese enthusiast like me.

    Story you ask? There isn't one, well......almost. Terribly acted, directed and thought out, and even lacking in creativity, bringing to light memories of such films as Re-Animator, and The Human Centipede while not cashing in on the charm of the former nor the deranged ideology of the latter. But somehow it still created a bit of it's own charm, mostly through the main villains mentally handicapped assistant.

    There is a sizable amount of decently done violence in this movie. Featuring all the types of scenes you would expect from a surgery based torture horror film. Organ removal, amputations and the like are all here, and done as well as one would expect from a movie of this caliber.

    This movie would probably make the larger percent of you who read this blog turn it off no more than twenty minutes into it. But there are the few of us, and you know who you are, who like these kind of sloppy little pictures.....for those of you who do, give it a shot............as for everyone else, I'd say skip it.


5/10 detached retinas

Bloody Reunion

    I wish Asian languages translated better into English, or that maybe someone with a better understanding of both of the languages did the translations, because I'm getting tired of not understanding whats going on half the time. Admittedly Korean horror films aren't super easy to follow even when translated correctly, but still, why make it even more confusing?

    This flick starts out fairly slowly in order to set up the tension and motive properly, and then it is ON! Twisted kill scenes and stomach turning torture sequences that only Asian cinema has had the cajones to release before clutter the bulk of the second half, giving way to a twist that gave me a headache at the end. It's not that I didn't get the gist of it, because I did, I just didn't understand why it was necessary. It actually made the rest of the earlier mentioned torture scenes and generally brutal feel of the movie seem to be for naught. It's too bad as well, because overall, ending aside, I really liked this movie, It looked great, had great horror, engaging characters and enough blood to drown an army of vampires. It just finished of with a foul tasting confused whisper and not the bloodsoaked explosion I was anticipating. Oh, well these are the brakes of Asian moviemaking.

6/10 detached retinas

SL8N8 (Slaughter Night)

    Danish satanic slashers that promise wheel barrels full of gore, that's something I've got to check out every time. It took me a week to finally finish this one, but I got 'er did. Don't ask me why it took me that long, because I've got no real reason. This movie was pretty effin' good.

    Every once in a while I think, while I watch these types of movies, about climbing through the screen and asking the dumbass occupants of the world inside; Why would you DO that? Have you not seen a freakin' horror movie before? You're asking to get yourself killed! I mean, yeah, I get that your dad died as an indirect result of his studies of this turn of the century satanic dude and you want to get to the bottom of what's going on, but tryin' to be Nancy Drew in these kinda situations is a recipe for disaster and more often than not....dismemberment. But then I realize in that same breath, we wouldn't have ninety percent of the horror movies that are out there if the characters within made smart and life saving choices.

    To be totally serious though, this movie has a decent story that, when handled by the semi cliche but still quality crew of actors in this one, is fairly potent.

    Violence...... there is a ton of it, through the films second half. Which may (or may not) be the reason it took me awhile to finish this one. Once the violence finally does start, hold on, because it's a ride. Beheadings seem to be the killer, or killers, favorite method of dispatch, but there is plenty of other (extremely well done) killing methods utilized within this film.

    Glad I didn't give up on this one, not that it ever really gave me a reason to. I think i just have attention span issues from time to time......Anyways, If you like gory foreign slashers, don't hesitate to give this one a whirl.

7/10 detached retinas

Wild Country

   "Man Bear Pig Goes to Scotland" would have been a much more appropriate title for this movie. This one is an hour and thirteen minutes of goofy, bloody and hard to decipher wackiness.

   Out of all the English speaking countries it's a toss up between the South Africans and the Scots for who has the hardest to understand accents, with the Scots coming out a nose or so ahead. I really could have done with some subtitles at points during this movie, but being as it wasn't all that in depth of a story anyways, I made do. The story is pretty simple through most of the film Large beasts on the prowl for some unaware kids on a holiday, but the ending........oh, the ending. So stupid, yet so funny, and a little confusing as well. It doesn't hurt the film at all, it's just bizarre.

   Set in the hill country of Scotland, this one has a smooth production and doesn't stray too far from most of it's European counterparts in cinematic quality. The kill shots, at points, are something to shout over with some really great creature on human savagery to behold. It did get hard to see from time to time during some of the night scenes, but I'm going to blame the better part of that on the computer screen I watched it on.

   So if you lookin' for some ear squintingly, bloody, fun stuff to wrap your eyes around, look no further than this little gore parade.


7/10 detached retinas

Trapped Ashes

    I guess the fact that the Tales From the Crypt franchise has seemingly disappeared becomes moot once you have a collaboration like this that resembles it so very closely. Think Bordello of Blood meets Creepshow, and that's about what you've got here.

   Five stories make this one up, but don't go into this one looking for a lot of variety, all the separate scripts kind of resemble each other in some way or another. Bloodthirsty breast implants, Japanese necrophyletic (<<<sounds like a word...... right?) demon zombies, a succubus witch, a girl with a love for her womb-mate who happens to be a giant tape worm and the surrounding plot in which all the other stories are given rise. All of those things may sound worlds apart but somehow, to me, seemed to get semi repetitive by the films end. Now, it's not well acted by any means, in fact quite the opposite, but for some reason it didn't bother me. I'm thinking it probably had something to do with those similarities I was speaking of earlier, because by no means were either of those films "well acted", but both held a certain charisma as does this movie..... to a point.

   Boobs and blood are in no short supply in this film, but it is fairly lacking in true "gore". There is some, just not enough in my book for a movie of this type. The make-up and effects are professional at least, and feature some stand out scenes including the parasitic nipples which were my personal favorite scene, and the zombie sex scene was pretty ghastly as well.

   This is a style of horror that's never going to awe anyone, but when done right (which for the most part this one was) will always entertain. It's not going to change any ones life, but still give it a watch, it's fun.


5.5/10 detached retinas

The Horde

     I have been meaning to give this movie another watch for awhile now, due to several requests for a review of it and also for my own personal enjoyment. I must own this film, because I have a feeling this won't be the last time I'll be wanting to see it. Plus it's French.......nearly a no brainer.

   Adrenaline, brutality, passion, sweat, blood and fear seep from every pore of this film. Featuring some of the most intense zombies since "the infected" of  28 Days Later, this film delivers (and some) on all of your basic zombie movie requirements. Terrifyingly convincing make-up and prosthesis on both zombie and victim alike. And I literally think they may have bought the greater portion of France out of fake blood, cause they used a TON!

  The sudden and confusing way in which the whole scenario unfolds, lends this movie a genuinely scary and realistic feel. Well acted would be an understatement, the strife and stress of the situation is palpable throughout the film, from every actor/actress you can feel almost as they feel. Also, the cast is a varied and believable mix of characters, lending another element of realism that some films fail to strive for. The story has a nice freshness to it as far as sub-plots go, but boils down to the same ol' thing in the end, zombies are here, fight or die. Do you really need anything more from zombie horror? Naw. But there is a bit of a twist at the end that you may or may not find entertaining, I did.

  I'm tellin' ya, if you count yourself a zombie movie fan and you haven't seen this one you're doing yourself a grave disservice. Watch it.


9.5/10 detached retinas

Night Crawlers

     Joel Greco......that's the name of the dude I was trying to figured out where I knew him from for this entire movie. He's the douche bag from that terrible show Cheaters. I knew I didn't like him for some reason, and along with not liking him, I didn't like this movie either.

     Don't let the movie poster fool you, this movie is neither scary nor does it even come close to having the level of make-up production that the poster suggests. There was a whole lot of misleading going on in the marketing of this film. There's some semblance of a vampire/comedy going on here, but aside from a scattered few laughs, they failed on most aspects of both genres. The acting is alright I guess, but the dialogue is so ridiculous it doesn't make much difference, and the situational comedy tries fairly hard to be funny, and is at points, but for the most part it's such an asinine scenario in the first place that it makes it hard to laugh with their attempts and not at their attempts.

     Now, I'd love to say it didn't get any worse from there, but it did. Their attempts at monstrous vampire make-up were probably the only true comedy in the whole movie, most of them came off looking like slow-witted, leprous goofs....In all seriousness, I know a bunch of people who do better jobs on their own make-up for Halloween than then these guys did for a movie......pretty pathetic.

    There's really no redeeming features of this picture, aside from the few laughs, and they weren't worth the seemingly long hour and fifteen minutes I spent watching this.


3/10 detached retinas

Murder Party

    This is one of the best and most original horror films I've seen in a long time.....if not ever. You throw in a bunch of "art scenester" related satire with gallons of fantastically executed blood and guts and add a generous helping of smart comedy and your well on your way to finding the keys and title to my heart.

    Like I said, this movie is smart and was very obviously written by someone who has spent a good amount of time in or around the "art scene" as they nailed with such hilarity all the usual "artsy" types to a T. The basis for the film is a bunch of random pretentious artists randomly dropped an invitation to a "murder party" in hopes that some hapless fool would wander into their elitist trap and they could artfully capture said fools murder. Which is exactly what happens, only they're all so high on their craft and an assortment of other things that it goes unsurprisingly awry. The actors in this one play their parts immaculately, creating such a genuinely hilarious scenario that you almost forget for awhile they're planning on murdering the poor fool they lured there. And speaking of the "poor fool" he is played to perfection as well, wearing maybe the best halloween costume on record, and being a quiet comic genius to boot.

    The gore and violence couldn't have been done any better either, including chainsaws, fire axes and moonshine fueled fiery disfigurements (which actually results in one of the better make-up jobs I've ever seen). This one is gory, to say the least.

     To any and every one of you who read this review, WATCH THIS MOVIE! There's really not a lot of other ways I can say it, just that you will be missing out if you don't.

10/10 detached retinas

The Last Lovecraft: Relic of Cthulhu

     It's not hard to see that this movie was made with a comedy before horror type mindset. But the creators obvious love for the campy-ness of monster movies shines through the entire film like a beacon.

     This movie is funny.....really funny. There aren't a lot of familiars faces save a couple of minor commercial personalities and some guy who was in Grandmas Boy, but they still manage A-list comedy execution with uproarious dialogue and winning character development. I guess it makes me at least half a nerd that I understand so many references made within nerd comedy but this movie is full of 'em and they are great.

    The premise is a bit goofy as it is centered around the return of cthulhu, but it also makes for some great opportunities for outlandish monster costuming and slapstick gore scenes, which are actually quite bloody and awesome considering the silliness of the rest of the film. And to top all these things off with a slick HD quality feel, just gave the film that much more legitimacy.

     Comedy and horror movie fans alike will get a treat with this one, regardless of whether or not you're a fan of both genres of film. Highly recommend.

8/10 detached retinas

Carver

   Gawl! Everywhere I look Texas Chainsaw Massacre ripoffs are waiting to suck me into their overworked but still slightly entertaining clutches. Would it kill someone to come up with a little American horror originality every once in awhile? Not a whole lot to ask for.

   Backcountry, hillbillies, torture and young adults, including the token whiner, the token douche and his token slut and the token hero and heroine. Combine those things with a token story and they may as well have called this movie "Token".

  But, there are a few standout parts of this cheeser and all of them are derived from the movies attempt to gross you out (b.t.w. I wouldn't suggest watching this one while trying to eat, especially is you have an aversion to feces.) The gore is solid low budget stuff, and while they do hide from view a few of the money shots, I believe its because of budget restrictions or make up artist talent issues rather than a lack of desire to please a gore thirsty audience.

  Looking back at this one, I can safely say its creators meant well while making it. It's just a little uninspired and washed up as far as concept goes, but I would definitely watch another one of their films, no question.

5.5/10 detached retinas

To Kako (Evil)

    Greece, where ya been? Just now getting on the zombie train when your neighbors to the east (Italy) have been doing it with gusto for thirty plus years? Well whatever your explanation, welcome to the entertaining zoo that is undead themed film making and thank you for coming.

    Classically delicious, that's what comes to mind as I review this one. Every aspect of this film is some sort of shrine to the the masters that came before, from the campy zombie movie approved acting, to the bloody and hilarious killshots and violence. Comedic without actually being a "comedy" and ludicrous in all the right ways. Not to say this doesn't have a hole filled plot, or inspire some unsolicited laughter, but in that same breathe didn't Fulci, Romero and Argento inspire those same laughs at times? Of course they did.

   I applaud this movie in every aspect and look forward to reviewing To Kako 2 because from what I've seen it's gonna be even more fun than this one was, no small feat! Cheers to you Greece on a successful first foray into "the land of the dead".

7.5/10 detached retinas

Eden Log

  Foreign art films never fail to amaze and anger me with their abysmally frustrating and confusing endings. This movie had me enraptured for damn near its entirety, and then with five minutes remaining, proceeded to take a fat dump on my chest leaving me open mouthed with the putrid taste of disappointment making my bile ducts scream for release.

  The basis for this one is centered around energy crisis solutions of the seemingly distant future gone wrong. Shot in what I could only describe as some sort of subterranean missile silo or abandoned nuclear power plant (which if it was, would be fitting). Feeling in style, as with many other French (dialogue is in English) films, a bit of Terry Gilliam, specifically 12 Monkeys. Just about everything about the visuals in this flick are amazing, from its bleak and panicky production, to the great makeup work on the fiend like mutants chasing the main character, to the entire films general concept art. Fact is, the only glaring disparity I found within this film was its atrocious ending.

   I have a stinking suspicion that art film directors/ writers give them selves too much credit and shoot too high with their concept, end up writing themselves into a corner and, BANG, you have movies like this. I'm probably wrong, but it makes me feel better about my wasted two hours.

4.5/10 detached retinas

Isolation

     I used to wonder how long before the "abominations of science" horror films began to get stale. But now that I have given it more thought, the more I realize they won't, as science and greed progress the more feasible these films become, and the more brutal they become as well.

    This little Irish delight is built around just what I was earlier talking about, scientific testing to find a way to make cattle mature earlier and therefore come of birthing age themselves at a faster rate, so on and so forth, making much more money for the dairy and beef industries.......where could that go wrong you ask? Well if you have to ask that question, this just might be your first rodeo.

    This movie is grimy all the way around, from the bleak, muddy, rundown cattle farm setting to the violent human and animal mutilations to the very core of its script. Well acted and well shot with a feel of palpable desperation that extends for the length of the movie. The gore scenes as well are gritty and realistic, featuring exoskeletal, bloodthirsty, mutant calf fetuses boring their way through bovine and human intestine alike. From whatever angle you decided to look at this film, it is a solid peice of work.

    So if you have a mind to try to interfere with the natural evolution of species, be they non threatening in their current state or not......I would suggest you watch this movie before doing so, there are good lessons to be learned within.

7.5/10 detached retinas

Prey (Proie)

 

    Now this is a "creature feature" with some class! Unlike its many counterparts within this campy sub-genre this film is taught, slick, engaging and downright intense. And to top all that off it has a worthwhile social message to sell, and does so without seeming all that preachy. Oh, and did I mention it is French? If you've ever read this thing I like to call a blog before, you will know that about 90% of the time that's a win for me.

   The story revolves around a family that goes hunting in search of a boar that had been ravaging the countryside and finds out the fertilizer made by their company is killing off most of the indigenous wildlife, and the animals it is not killing.....well, that's where the horror part of the film comes about. Well cast, scripted and acted with a very compelling plot. The only drawback I really had from this flick was its length, at just under an hour and twenty minutes it felt a little short.

   The gore was accomplished and the general look of the film was polished and dark, leaving small parts to the imagination but not in a way that frustrated, more so it added to the suspense and creep factor of the whole film. The creatures or blooddrunk boars, as they were, were well done as well without ever really being fully in the shot, and the many dead animal carcasses strewn about the set had were so putrescent looking that you could almost smell them through the screen. Visually well done all the way around.

   Now if you don't like looking at made up images of what humans impact does to our planet, and even our immediate ecosystem, I would not suggest watching this endeavor. But if you want to see a smart and bloody look at natures revenge I highly recommend you look no further than Prey.

7/10 detached retinas

The Mad

   I may never know where exactly the viewpoint of the people that made this flick is coming from but I can  however safely say that their main commentary was firmly centered around something between food production regulation reform and vegetarianism. Not so subtly hidden within a zombie comedy the earlier mentioned "agendas" don't draw attention away from the successes this film enjoys. In fact, depending on your tolerance for preachy morals, it kinda added to this films charm.

   Story is similar in flavor to a hybrid of Dead and Breakfast and Slither while still establishing its own identity through killer burger patties and a hamburger induced zombie outbreak. Billy Zane (as you've probably deduced from the poster by now) leads a veritable cast of comically entertainingly nobodies. The dialogue and acting are well done for the most part, but the comic disconnect from the events at hand begins to wear thin by the films end. I will say this for Billy Zane though, he plays a damn good 40 something, ex-waveo, still trying to relate with the younger generation-dad, and has a great on-screen rapport with everyone he shares the camera with.

   The make up and gore portion of this film is done in a very professional yet still campy manner. The usual zombie related fodder is all here, bite wounds, beheadings and all the usual "rippin' and tearin". The zombie make up is decent, but nothing to amaze. I think the most standout effects driven part of this movie was probably the animated/animatronic killer burger patties.

    This movie by no means wowed me, but it was very entertaining through and through. I'm thinking anybody, horror fan or no, could get on board with this one.

6.5/10 detached retinas

The Darkroom

   I don't really know why I'm even wasting the time to review this one when all the end result will amount to is me telling you not to waste your time on it. But seems as I have nothing better to do right now, what the hell....

   This movie actually barely amounts to a real horror movie, apart from reoccurring drug induced monster sightings, the presence of a serial killer, and a couple of half assed throat slashings, this one really amounts to more of a mystery than anything else. but apparently someone else disagrees with me because it was on TMC's "Splatterday" on-demand lineup.....whatever. It has a few familiar faces including Lucy Lawless (Xena: Warrior Princess), and Greg Grunberg of  Heroes. But nobody steps up to make it any more interesting. There are however a few twists at the end that threw me but more likely had I been a little more invested in the story I would have figured them out. The violence is sparse and weak and the monster scenes are shakey and out of focus and frankly gave me a bit of a headache.

  All around this movie is close to unwatchable (and yet for some reason I watched the whole freakin' thing), don't let the snappy movie poster fool ya, avoid.

2/10 detached retinas

Plague Town

     Sometimes even when I don't necessarily love a film, it can still make me excited to see what the director will do further down the road. David Gregory did that for me with this movie. While it wasn't all bad, it felt a little amateurish at points.....but it was his directorial debut, and everything from this point should be uphill for him.

    The story is one that brings to mind a combo of  Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Children of the Corn, but has enough of its own flavor so that it doesn't reek too terribly of plagiarism. Now the main lacking point as far as script and story is the victims situational awareness, there is not a whole lot of survival instinct going on, more so just standing around and letting themselves get killed. At least the death scenes are gruesome though, very much so in fact. Piano wire face cleavings, shotgun induced throat-splosions, and a near reverse lobotomy courtesy of a fire poker top off the "meat" of our violence, and it is convincingly bloody stuff. Also there is a good amount of spooky imagery involving the townspeople and their "plague" which really just boils down to their children being disfigured (you won't want to miss the scrotum chin dude).

   Horror connessuiers will like this one I can tell you that much, but for the more casual fans of you out there, give it a shot too. Its just may be a sign of good things to come.

6.5/10 detached retinas

100 Tears

     This is what I'm talking about, B movie horror doesn't have to suck! With the right eye for detail and an at least charismatic (if maybe not the most professional) cast, you can get a long way in low budget horror.This movie showed that to the fullest extent.

  A beautiful and bonding father and daughter romp through the rib cages and rectums of thirty or so mostly unsuspecting east coast citizens, complete with clowns, a midget chase scene, disembowelings, beheadings, super funny dialogue and gallons upon gallons of fake blood. This movie made me literally laugh out loud numerous times while at work watching it (which can be a little awkward considering I don't really know if I'm allowed to be watching movies at work, but it can be our little secret). Now it's not going to be winning any awards for amazing creativity, but thats not all there is to a horror film. Sometimes you just want to see people get chopped to peices by a ludicrous clown while laughing at the couple of goofs bumbling around trying to figure out who's doing the killing.

  Classy, slick, accomplished.......none of these words apply to this movie.......but the one that does, fun, is plentiful to be had. Not for everyone, but if you've got the stomach, give 'er a whirl, you'll thank me later.

8/10 detached retinas

Shiver (Escalofrio)

    It is not very often that you get to call a true horror film "cute" but this one somehow fits that billing. While still being gruesome and spooky it has a strangely heartwarming tale to tell.

    The story is centered around a teenage boy who has an allergy to sunlight and as a result has to relocate to a tiny Spanish village nestled in the mountains. To not give anymore of the story away I will just say there is a feral child involved once he arrives in said village and he becomes the suspect in a series of murders. The endearing part comes from the execution and casting, everyone has a certain aura of believability to them be they good or bad within the story. And the character relationships are genuine. Well scripted, creative and ambitious this movie really did it for me from all plot and acting standpoints.

   Along with the story being great, the violence and make-up effects were its perfect companion. There is a good amount of bloody animalistic scenes throughout this film and they are done very convincingly. And the earlier mentioned feral child.....well let's just say that she looks exactly like what you would think a feral child would look like.

   One more note that this movie brought to light for me was the cinematography, which was beautiful and very European-esque. Which made me come to the realization that foreign (especially, but not limited to European) horror films actually do have a kind of different feel to them (aside from the subtitles). They don't feel as rushed and they seem to take care with the smaller things like settings, scenery, character build up and the other things that draw the viewer to that next level of involvement in the film. Hollywood, take note, cuz you'z abouts ta get served.

   Anyways, back to the point at hand, this movie is a real fun watch, and I think just about anybody could get on board with it.

7/10 detached retinas

Hatchet II

   I'm going to start this one by saying if you have not seen the first Hatchet and you're a fan of early 80's style campy slashers, do yourself a favor and watch it. It's totally worth it. While its sequel does a fair job of standing on its own it's always nice to have all the backstory figured out so that when the previous film is referenced you're not feeling left out.

   As I earlier mentioned this film hearkens back to the simpler days of horror. Absolutely nothing new here, but it's done oh so well. A full dumptruck load of gore, a liquid kiloton of fake blood and a good measure of silliness to top it all off. Tony Todd (Candyman) makes his second appearance in this franchise as the "voodoo" Rev. Zombie, and there are a few other familiar faces in this one as well. Kane Hodder (Friday the 13th) plays the monster role of "Victor Crowley" who is a vengeful mutant ghost hybrid with a pension for using quite a varied array of implements to dispatch of his prey. Throw this all in with a sleek production, set it in a swamp outside of New Orleans and you've got yourself a winner.

  Simplicity combined with professional pride go a long way to satisfy this reviewer, you don't always have to have the best story, or the biggest budget or even that great of a cast. Just love what you do and pay a bit of tribute to the old gods now and again......and your on track for success in my book.

7.5/10 detached retinas