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4/28/2011

Die You Zombie Bastards!



        Not very often do you find blatantly and purposely offensive and ludicrous low budget horror comedies that succeed on any sort of remarkable level. Over the years I can count on two hands the ones that I have personally watched that were worth even half of my attention, and most of those were "Troma" releases.  "Die You Zombie Bastards!" is most definitely one of those few that succeeds. Bizarre, bloody, boob obsessed and just plain goofy, this movie had my cheeks aching by its end from the impossible to control grin that was pasted across my face for its entire length.

   Story be damned, who needs one when you got a cast full of absolute hams willing to degrade themselves and others for a few days in search for some shock filled laughs? Ridiculous dialogue scenes sporadically thrown together amongst ballsack and boob driven comedy and riotous fight scenes full of enough cheap guts, brains and dismemberment  to give George Romero an anxiety attack. Seriously I have never seen so many different phallic prosthetics in one movie, there's giant monster boners comin' out of this movies metaphorical ears! All these things coupled with maybe the best "superhero" ever in "Red Tool" a well meaning, hippie slaying serial killer (who wears a cape made of sewn together pieces of his former victims) turned savior of the world just tops this gore flavored cake off oh so well!

  I would have loved to be on location for the filming of this flick because I'm convinced it was probably the time of everyone who was involved's life. More movies need to be made by people having this much fun. While this review has probably already sorted out which of you is "in" or "out", I'll say it anyways......this movie is only for those with the proper sense of humor and a love for cheestick horror comedy.

8/10 detached retinas

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