Hells Ground

   I thought this was a freakin' zombie movie! Even though the trailer I watched for this was a good five minutes long, the story was barely less of a mystery to me upon watching this then it was before watching the trailer. But I'm not complaining, despite my being misled into thinking this movie was about the undead, it still entertained me to no end!

  Pakistan, yeah you heard me right,Pakistan is the country responsible for this....this....well I'm not very sure what "this" is, but it's awesome! I guess it's sort of a ripoff of a lot of things, but it isn't annoying because of the culture gap between the makers of this film and most of the films one could say it 'ripped off'. The story feature five young adult-ish Pakistanis on an adventure to go see "the hottest band in Pakistan", on route the get predictably lost and briefly run into some zombie plague victims (the reason I rightfully thought this was a zombie film) but they escape the fiends and continue on their confusing journey. All while speaking English half the time while the other half is subtitled, don't ask me why or how, but it worked. They then get into the meat (no pun intended) of the story after getting more lost. They meet the killer and his lovely family upon stopping to ask for directions...... Like I said, it's sort of a ripoff, It's just the antics, cultural differences and similarities, that make this so watchable. The killer ^^^that guy on the poster^^^ or burqaman (fantastic name b.t.w.) is freaking AWESOME! Apparently he is the product of a widowed mother who decided at some point that he was her daughter and not her son. So at an early age, he was made to dress like a female, and thus a killer was born. Old news, I know, that is how most killers are born you're saying right now......I'm aware of that fact, but it's still awesome so shut up. Also there is a good eco-conscious not so subliminal message around the reason for the zombie outbreak, showing extended scenes of the garbage devastated water supplies in the region and the filthy conditions most in that area are subjected to living in (a truly sad and disturbing note within a tongue in cheek film)

  Apart from the entertainingly and badly acted story, there is still sooooo much good stuff in this movie. The gore is amazing B-rate stuff, grisly, messy, butcher store stuff. When you're killing people with what looks like 45 lbs of morningstar, it's gonna have some splatter effect. The zombies, are classic Romero -esque stuff, but still fun, and their horde even includes a dwarf which is a great addition to any zombie scene/film if you ask this guy. All around grade A... B grade, to say the least.

 Get culturized, if for no other reason than watching your first Pakistani film. And why NOT this one? My guess is ninety percent of the rest of the movies from there aren't even half as entertaining as this one!


8/10 detached retinas